Genie

A man spent many days crossing the Sahara without water. His trusty horse and camel had both long since died of thirst. Drier than a Californian raisin, he struggled on, on all fours crawling through the sands certain that he had breathed his last.

All of a sudden he saw an object sticking out of the sand 6 feet ahead of him. He crawled to the object, pulled it out of the sand and discovered what looked to be an old briefcase. He opened it and out popped a genie. But this was no ordinary genie. No, He was a dull looking character, wearing an Inland Revenue ID badge and a naff grey suit. He even had a calculator in his pocket, and a pencil tucked behind one ear.

"Well, kid," droned this monotone genie. "You know how it works. You have three wishes."
"I'm not falling for that old chestnut," replied the weary man. "I'm not going to trust a tax inspector!"
"What do you have to lose? You've got no transport, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!"

With a deep sigh the man thought for a minute, and decided that the dull genie was right.
"OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful supplies of food and drink".

* * * P O O F * * *

The man found himself in the most beautiful oasis he had ever seen, and he was surrounded with carafes of Libfraumilch and platters of M & S delicacies. "OK sir, what's your second wish?" droned the Grey One.
"My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams".

* * * P O O F * * *

The man found himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins, precious gems and a cheque that would keep the Beckham's for life (assuming only one attempted kidnapping per decade).

"Very well sir, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"
After thinking for a few minutes, the man said, "I wish that no matter where I go beautiful women will want and need me".

* * * P O O F * * *

And there he was, turned into a tampon.

And the moral of the story? If the Inland Revenue offers you ANYTHING, there must be a string attached.

This is good! A complete lie and a total fabrication and obviously written by a woman, but good!