Rules for Men

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth to take his very life into his own hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's licence in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: You do look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty quid.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Would you like me to get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that dressing gown!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh!

Or pass it on to men who need a warning!

And remember:
Money talks...but chocolate sings.